Giving, Not Giving Up

We’re heading into the third week of Lent, a season of sacrifice, penitence and reflection. It’s usually marked by fasting and abstinence. As I Catholic I’m called to fast twice during the season, on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday and to abstain from eating meat on Fridays. In addition, most people will also give up something dear to them: chocolate, sweets, cigarettes, swearing, etc.  One of the more common phrases you’ll hear is “What are you giving up for Lent?” No, giving up the vegetable that you hate does not count!  Additionally, many will try to do something positive: extra prayer, giving more to the poor, reading the Bible, even just smiling more when you really don’t feel like it. My one daughter listens only to inspirational music during Lent.

Last year, in Chaos and the Lenten Season, I told you that my positive and productive thing would be to restore order to my office.  I even included a humbling picture. The office was made neater but during the year  the year I watched the open space fill in again as this , that and the other thing found it’s temporary home in that room. If cleanliness is next to Godliness then this room is still a few miles away! So what to do this year that would be more in the spirit of the Lenten season?

As I looked around me, I realized that there is a lot of suffering going on. How many times have we said, “I’ll keep you in my prayers?” Then we say a quick prayer for that person and move on, obligation done. By the middle of January I realized that I had said this numerous times already this year. Knowing that I couldn’t possibly remember all of these intentions, I starting writing them down in a ‘prayer journal’.  

As I said my morning prayers, I visualize the journal page and pray for all included.  I have three friends with close relatives battling cancer, two with relatives fighting kidney disease, someone struggling with serious bouts of depression, friends who are dealing with long-term unemployment and an elderly couple trying to spend their last moments together while one suffers with heart disease and the other is in the end-stages of cancer.  I haven’t even touched on the trials of my own immediate family. Prayers are powerful and I’m sure that the recipients feel God’s healing presence. Sometimes all we can do is put our troubles in God’s hands; but are there other times when we could be doing more to help those in need as well as those who care for them? As soon as disaster strikes, e.g. hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, etc., we’re usually willing to send to donations or supplies for the cause.  But what about your family member who’s struggling with illness or the neighbor down the street who just lost a spouse? Is there a small comfort that we could extend? The opportunity for grace is all around us.

During this Lenten season why not take the opportunity to reach out to someone that you know is hurting.  Invite them into your home to share a meal or a cup of coffee; maybe take a meal to their home for the family to share. Ask how they’re feeling, most people suffer in silence, simply because no one asks, it’s too uncomfortable. Offer to run an errand for them, maybe pick up some groceries. We all know someone who could benefit from a friendly gesture.  Be that person who extends themselves and then bask in God’s grace and blessing.  You’ll face Easter with a whole new perspective.

March for Life

Last weekend marked the 38^th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the court decision that legalized abortion. This event is memorialized each year with The March for Life, a peaceful protest calling for the repeal of this disastrous decision. On Monday I had the opportunity to attend the Rally and March with my daughter, son-in-law and his brother, two granddaughters and two grandsons.

My 11 yr old granddaughter and I left NJ on Sunday afternoon and spent the night with my daughter and her family (husband and 3 children aged 7 months, 2 ½ and 5 years) in PA. The next morning we took off for DC around 5am to meet up with my son-in-law’s brother, a Franciscan friar. After attending Mass and enjoying the hospitality of the priests and brothers at the Friary we took off for the Rally. We walked to the Metro, took two trains (while wheeling 2 strollers) and finally arrived as the events were starting. We acquired our signs and moved in to hear the speakers. The expected hour and a half of speeches lasted almost 4 hours in below freezing weather. About 3 hours into it we went into the Art Museum to thaw out the kids who by now were reaching the Popsicle stage.   

As we were preparing to leave the museum we got word that the rally was over and people were lining up for the March. We quickly bundled back up and headed out to take our place in line. When you’re walking with small children and pushing strollers it’s difficult to keep a place in large group so we found ourselves drifting in and out of the different groups.  There were approximately 200,000 people marching that afternoon, people who lived nearby and people who had travelled all night by bus to get there.  There was an impressive amount of young people carrying signs promoting themselves as being the pro-life generation.  That gave me a lot of hope for the future.

As we made our way down the street, I heard one surrounding group praying the Rosary, another, the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Other groups were drumming and singing hymns and songs of praise and worship while others were making up pro-life chants. Some were quiet, probably engaging in personal prayer. I found myself saying a Hail Mary with this group, a little of the Chaplet with another group, singing a familiar hymn or song and yes even jumping in on the chants and dancing to the drums. But most of all I watched my family as we marched together for a common cause, respect for life, all life. I thank God everyday for the wonderful family that He’s given me, a family willing to brave the freezing temperatures for a cause that they believe in.

 

When the March ended, we made our way back to the Metro.  Two trains and short walk later we were back to the Friary where we had left the car. It was now rush hour in DC and we were all tired.   The Friars, who had made extra food since they had guests staying with them, invited us to come in, refresh ourselves and share their meal. Eventually we made our way back to my daughter’s in Harrisburg.  My granddaughter and I switched to my car and drove back to NJ.  It was a long cold day but I’ll remember and hope that my grandchildren will as well.

I would like to express my thanks to the priests and brothers at the St. Louis Friary in DC.  Your hospitality was incredibly generous and welcoming.  God Bless!

Read, Eat Fruit and Smile!

Happy New Year!

My wish is for a happy and healthy 2011 for all of my friends and family.

Resolutions! Are you a resolution person? Have you spent the day making lists and promising yourself that this will be the year that …. (fill in the blank)? Although it’s good to have goals (without them we probably wouldn’t even get out of bed in the morning), history has proven that we usually don’t keep our New Year resolutions.  We set the bar too high and set ourselves up for failure.

I stopped making resolutions years ago but I do take inventory every year. I look at what I’ve accomplished or what I’ve learned and how I’ve challenged myself.  Then I consider what I can do to improve myself in the upcoming year.  

My husband was listening to talk radio the other day and the host proposed the following question: “What will you try to improve this year, your mind, your body or your spirit?” Of course, with my holistic way of thinking, I immediately started to ponder on how I could improve all three.

I’ve always been an avid reader but in recent years my computer time has replaced a lot of my reading time.  To improve my mind I’m going to try to read a book a week. This will probably cut down on my computer time but might also keep my brain from turning to mush.

As for my body, I’ll continue to try to improve on my diet.  I usually eat healthfully and have no trouble incorporating vegetables in most of my meals.  However, I find that I’m often lacking in fruit servings. So I’ll start by trying to eat at least one piece of fruit a day. I know that this probably sounds strange since most people have more trouble with vegetables than with fruits.

What can I do to improve my spirit? This required a little more thought.  There were a lot of areas where I could improve. However, I wanted something powerful enough to make a difference but not so overwhelming that I set myself up for defeat. Then it hit me! I could smile more! I remembered that when I was in Israel, Fr. David frequently looked at me and said “smile.” I wasn’t unhappy I just tend to have a serious look.  I have a friend/co-worker who is always saying “watch out for her she has the look today.” I know exactly what look she means too.  I’ve seen it in photographs. Sometimes when I’m lost in thought I can look downright mean. Smiling more will definitely improve that image as well as my spirit!

Hopefully I’ll improve myself in mind, body and spirit this year but not with resolutions that will be cast aside in a month.  I’ll make slight improvements daily by just remembering my new mantra, “Read , Eat Fruit and Smile”!

A Lot to be Thankful For!

“The key to life is to be grateful and give thanks for everything that happens -- both the happiness and the sadness.” Author unknown

This quote is on the bottom of my calendar this month.  I’ve checked this same calendar numerous times this month; today is the first time I noticed it. Perhaps that’s because I asked for an inspiration for this blog this morning.  Ask and you shall receive! In any event ‘being grateful’ is a perfect topic for the week before Thanksgiving. 

When our children were young, it was a tradition in our household to go around the dinner table and state the things for which you were thankful. As they grew older we seem to have lost the tradition but now that they have families of their own I think that we should re-initiate it. It’s very easy to say that we are thankful for the happiness in our lives: the new job, the new house, our families, etc. But how can we be thankful for the sadness? How can we express our gratitude for something that has brought us sadness: the loss of a job, illness, the death of a friend or family member? That’s a little more difficult.

Earlier this year, after having attended 7 funerals in a few months, I wrote an entry in my Nuts and Bolts blog about ‘Life Lessons learned through death.’ Some of the lessons I learned were that we need to keep in touch more with those we love, that death happens no matter what your religious beliefs are and to never be afraid to say ‘I love you.’ But can I truly say that I’m grateful for these sad events?  That’s a tough one!

I thought about how to pull the positive out of these unhappy situations and find something for which to be grateful. When my mother died I was deeply saddened; but I was also grateful for the days I had to be with her while she was ill. Usually when you lose a job you find something much more rewarding and the same with a bad relationship; in time you’ll find someone more suited to your needs and wants. Sometimes a prolonged illness will give you time to think about your life and renew your faith.  Sometimes we just need to sift through the ashes a little longer before we can rise up again.

This Thursday is Thanksgiving and we all have reasons to be thankful, for both the happiness that we enjoy and the sadness that gives us grace and strength. If you don’t have a sharing tradition in place, why not start one this year and if you do have one, reinforce it. Express your gratitude to your family and friends.  Make it truly a day of gratefulness and not just a turkey fest.

And from my house to yours:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Our God-Given Gifts

Our gifts from God are not unique in and of themselves.  What is unique is the way in which we choose to use them. A few of you responded that you have the gift of love. The responses showed the many ways that this gift is used. Someone mentioned motherly love. This is a special gift that creates a bond between mother and child, usually forever. When shared it’s a double blessing, two gifts in one, giving and receiving. Not only motherly love but the ability to love anyone unconditionally is a gift that we are all given but must work to cultivate.  I saw a sign once that said something like, ‘I’m trying to be the person that my dog thinks that I am.’ Dogs instinctively love unconditionally, maybe there’s a lesson to be learned there.

Another gift that a few people mentioned was healing. One person that mentioned that gift is a nurse; she wrote about being there to help patch up and comfort injured players on her child’s softball team. This is a true example of both healing and love.  It would be much easier to say “This is not my child or my problem. Go tell your mother you got hurt.”  But instead, out come the tissues, the antiseptic, the Band-Aids, all applied with a gentle hand, a smile and a word of encouragement. 

The other prevalent responses were talents, baking, writing, painting, etc. We all have something that we do well but if we’re really passionate about it, we share it. I bought a Halloween cake last week at a bake sale. Someone had put a lot of time and effort into making this cake look like a graveyard, complete with marshmallow ghosts and Vienna wafers with R.I.P.  written on them in frosting. Then handed it over for a bake sale! Why?  Because someone they loved was a Girl Scout who needed to raise money for their troop. My husband is an artist and on numerous occasions has donated one of his creations to be auctioned or raffled for a fundraiser. I touched on why I write in my last blog and other writers have re-iterated that reason.

Sometimes when we think about gifts from God we concentrate on the big charismatic things and forget about the little things that God has given us. Pay attention to your gifts this week and see the value in the small blessings you give and receive; like the ability to change a child’s tear into a smile or the joyous look in someone’s eyes when you appreciate their efforts or maybe someone touched you with their gift. Whatever your gift or talent may be, use it to its fullest capacity this week with passion and joy.  God smiles when we use His gifts!

Let me know you used your gifts this week or what gifts you received that brought you joy.  God bless!  Have a joyous week!

Why I Blog

What has made you stronger in your journey? I didn’t get any responses to that question but I did get a number of questions which I feel merit a response.

Why do you feel the need to write and share your thoughts about your intimate life with others?

 God has bestowed certain talents and gifts on all of us.  I believe that I was given the ability to write so that I could share my thoughts.  The details that I share are ones that I feel others can relate to.  They’re intimate to me but if it helps someone to put their lives in perspective then I’m happy to share them. I don’t share details that would put burden on or embarrass another member of my friends and family.

Always wondered why people need to do it?   

It’s not so much that I need to do but that I want to do it.  If I learned nothing else on my recent Pilgrimage I learned that we are not singular individuals as much as we are a community of God’s people and as such we should reach out to each other.

Are you trying to influence others? 

I’m not trying to directly influence people but if they read my blog and they laugh a little or if it sparks an idea or provokes a thought then it benefits everyone. Our days get very complicated sometimes and we don’t even realize it until it’s too late and we’re all stressed out. If I’ve made you laugh or stop to think about something then I too have accomplished something. 

Do you have purpose or a message that you think that you want to send?

This was the toughest question because it made me look at my motivation for writing not only this blog, but the other two blogs as well. People write blogs for all different reasons. For Julie (of Julie and Julia) it was a way to document her adventures as she cooked her way through Julia Child’s cookbook. For some it’s a way to educate on a certain topic and for others it’s a personal journal shared with anyone who may be interested.

I have always enjoyed writing and telling stories, especially humorous ones. I was always hearing “You should write a book.” I truly believe that everyone has a book in their lives; but who has the time to write it and, unless you’re famous, who wants to read it? When I started my first blog (Nuts and Bolts) it was with the idea that I could hone my writing skills while possibly making people laugh or think (depending on the topic).  The Garden Blog came after I had spent a year with a Community Supported Garden and although we ate well, we still composted a lot. The idea for that blog was to share lessons learned and recipes and hopefully get the same back from my readers. This blog Spiritual Wanderings came out of a sociological interest that I have in people’s beliefs and philosophies. Having completed a Master’s program in theology and working in an industry that has a very diverse population has fed this interest. When I proposed the idea I got positive feedback.  So here we are!

I admire what you are doing, but why do you care or think that others care?

I may be naïve but I have a belief that there is a fundamental goodness in most people and that we all need a little nurturing now and again. My blogs are only sent to people who have responded that they would like to see them or occasionally because I think that the subject matter would interest them. I have had some people tell me that they’re not interested and they are removed.

Basically, I blog because I enjoy it and I enjoy the interaction that it sometimes sparks. And it’s fun!!

What gifts have been bestowed on you?  How do you use them?